Dolores...or shall I call you Lolita?

After reading Lolita I had to pick my jaw up from the floor. My feelings are utter disgust after finishing the reading. The fact that H. is attracted to Lolita, a 12 year old little girl. The thing that “sparked” his interest in young girls was when his childhood sweetheart died. I feel like by reading about H’s feelings I was, in some sense, defending him. I don’t agree with his way of thinking or feeling and therefore why should I continue to read about his feelings towards Lolita. Lolita’s real name is Dolores but he gives her the nickname Lolita. He moves into her home and spends all of his time watching and writing about her. He cant seem to keep his mind off of this young, innocent little girl. If he was in todays world, he would be locked up as he rightfully deserves to be. Men like this are dangerous and should not be around children. He becomes so attracted to this young girl that it makes me want to jump into the pages and slap him. It’s sad to be able to get into the mind of men like “H” because it just makes me hate people like him more. The thing that is even more sad is that there are many men and women that have these thoughts in our neighborhoods about young children and the fact that they can’t control or get rid of it is scary.

Love & Limerence

Tennov says Limerence enters your life at a pleasant time. He says that it can be an aold friend that you now see in a new light. Or a new person that has just entered your life but has already made a significant impact on you. He says it has to do with romantic feelings that develop for another person unconsciously. It has to do with strong feelings that can lead to obsession and or infatuation of another person. I interpreted this as the feelings one gets once they realize they are attracted to someone. Anything can trigger a feeling of limerence: eye contact, a friendly hello from another person, a smile or just the person being within eye-sight can trigger these feelings. I feel like limerence is what sparks ones interest to possibly eventually pursue another person. When I first met my boyfriend he was just a friend. Both being in other relationships I never imagined starting our own relationship. However, I found myself thinking about him often when my ex-boyfriend and I separated. He made me feel like I was on top of the world just by smiling in my direction and saying hello. I was constantly thinking “oh he noticed me?” and it made me want to find out more about him. Once we made our relationship official I felt even more drawn to him and he was all I could think about at all hours of the day. I believe that everyone experiences feelings of limerence and the way we react to these feelings is what eventually sparks something more than what we are already feeling.

Obsessive sex and love

This chapter paints a very interesting picture of sex compared the image people now put out. Davis says that relationships were able to go on without sex unlike now where that is all many of them are based on. Many people look at sex as an "activity". However, they should look at it as a form of expressing ones love for another. Instead too many people abuse it and feel that relationships cannot go past a certain point without sex involved. Yes it is good for one to express their love and appreciation for another through it but, there are other ways to do so. I myself feel that a relationship can last but both people involved need to be 100% devoted to the relationship. Sex today is seen everywhere: tv, magazines, music, everywhere. All we can do is take what we want from the activity instead of following the crowd. In my opinion we should cherish it because it should be cherished as a sacred act of expressing ones devotion for another.